Conflicts: the unsuccessful battle for life
I was there alone, there was no one around.
It was when in a quick spark of sunlight that hit my face, I soon woke up, and in a burst of speed my eyes were soon opened and saw.
I was there, I'm here, well, good and doing well.
It had been three nights now that I hadn't slept well.
Maybe someone's fault!
Between rainy and cold days, and others of extreme heat and scorching sun, I was always wandering in my silent thoughts. I wandered through my sweetest daydreams.
I looked around and they didn't recognize me in anyone, in anything. Everything was dark and suspicious to me, for I was what I am, singular and healthy as an ox.
I started swinging my legs for time to pass faster and without drama.
As soon as I didn't calm down with that, I soon began a long and arduous count, first by the fingers of the hands and then by objects that I saw nearby.
With that, I ended up in an almost infinite mental count, if it weren't for the noise of the wind hitting the windows against each other and very hard against the wall, I would never have stopped counting and counting.
The environment and its temperature that were hot, so abruptly from one time to another quickly changed, and soon cooled down with the cold and biting wind.
The fan on the floor was weak and very noisy.
Its noise sounded like a car trying to start when the engine cuts out, and at other times it sounded like a helicopter taking to the air.
But that's good, it makes me sleepy…
I stopped the counts I was doing.
I interrupted my restlessness and movements of legs and hands, both tense and expressing concerns, perhaps fears or apprehensions.
Maybe I didn't even think about the future?! I can't say for sure.
I need to fix this dripping faucet!
But then I do this after…
But first, I'll take a shower, maybe.
I closed the windows quickly and lowered the latch.
I was alone!
I checked if everything was fine and in order.
Nothing could get out of my control. Not before my eyes and perceptions.
Everything had to be in order and nothing out of control!
I looked around again and there was no one, there was nothing. I was alone!
The cat left the house…
He saw me and left the house! I didn't understand why…
This isn't the first time this has happened.
To that rascal!
I forgot to buy the feed, and I have to put water for him…
On a shelf the sun began to be hidden by hazy clouds with the strength of the winds.
There were many winds, they even seemed to howl like a dog, or perhaps hissing like kettles on a hot stove. Winds I know and don't know.
Faucet broken, cat without food, winds outside. But my bath is essential and paramount!
That chair also needs a good repair.
Suddenly, with all these worries at the same time, I became agitated, anxious…
My heart started beating hard, very fast.
I was worried about something, but I don't know or could say why and with what.
Someone is calling me, excuse me please!
__ Hello Mr Roberval!
__ What do you want, Mr. Roberval??
__ I need you to remove your car from the grass in my backyard .! Please.!
__ OK sorry! I'll do it right away , Mr. Roberval.
__ All good! Ok then, and Thanks Jenisvaldo .
__ You're welcome, Mr. Roberval!…
__ Thanks again Jenisvaldo , so I'm going.
__ Alright Mr. Roberval, see you later!!
This Mr. Roberval it's a kick in the testicles. Just because I stopped the car on the sidewalk of his house, he always creates an excuse to get into trouble with me.
Boy, did you know I know a lot of people? A lot of people!!!
I have many friends and acquaintances…
Yes! I have many friends…
A lot of people like me.
Many people really like me!
Good! I'm going to sit here in this armchair and think…
And Think a little.
Through the window panes I saw someone passing by.
I don't know who it is, or who it was!
I'm hearing voices talking in a low voice, and there's even laughter. I am curious and attentive to what these voices say or said. You can't tell what they're talking about!
I can't quite understand what they say. It pisses me off! It pisses me off…