Can we imagine that parents would not teach a child to treat older people with respect? Just imagine for a second: a child, not knowing what to do, do not understand the situation when he or she sees an elderly person in a transport or other place, he/she just sits quietly, does not stand up for an old woman, for example. After all, the understanding that it is necessary to stand up, appears precisely because of a set of measures and actions in childhood. Parents always talk about this and make sure that the child does not violate these established norms in relation to older people. They set an example by their own actions, politeness to them in conversations, etc. The child absorbs this and acts in adult life in the same way independently. As a result, there is education – and also there is a result at its core.

Now let's switch over to education, which is not yet available or sometimes it is practically absent. And if parents do not teach their children, then there is no result. How to find out what the person who is next to you is like, especially when you are in a relationship with him/ her? Parents often cannot teach, because no one has prepared them. Nobody told them they need to analyze every detail. What kind of things do you have to know in the pre-wedding relationship with the future spouse? Parents often have only their own negative experience. And do you know how many cases of several marriages and divorces are there? This shows the thorny path and the lack of the same set of measures that you need to teach your child. These divorces reveal clearly unacceptable character traits, habits, and shortcomings of the parent's own upbringing in order to maintain a happy family construction.

Young people need to understand this «science» before the wedding. They still have a chance to avoid mistakes, to part with their possible dangerous future, where divorces kill the naivety and euphoria of falling in love. And it will be also useful for the older generation to enroll and finish this life university for the sake of the happiness of their children and grandchildren.

In a good continuation of these questions, the child's upbringing should be boiled down to systematic conversations, analysis of actions, their reasons, criteria for family happiness, and the ability to evaluate a person in a relationship in a balanced way, compiling information of what is not even always visible or deliberately hidden. Such education, as well as its other directions, will be more successful if parents take care of each other every day. If parents are able to drop some voltage across their communication, sacrifice themselves for the sake of the second half in everything and in all the little things. It is noted that if you do not analyze with the child these beautiful manifestations of love in the form of parents' care for each other, or vice versa, negative manifestations, such moments may remain unnoticed until the child grows up and begins to understand the reasons for things. But it can take years, decades, in which your child will get his or her bumps and abrasions.

Funny stories are also suitable, especially if they remain in the memory as a stopper or a skew in the relationship. One of these cases occurred in Ukraine, when the mother of an 18-year-old girl tried to control every step of her daughter and exclude the continuation, in which only the skirt is mentioned from the girl's clothing (there is a proverb in Russia – to bring a child in the skirt/hem – which means to have a child before the wedding, it is always used in the negative meaning). The girl was going on a first date and could not help but tell her mother about it. And guess what! Her mother made the "only right" decision – she went on a date with her daughter! She wanted to look at the gentleman and to ask him to return her daughter home by the appointed time. The guy had no choice; he clearly remembered the eyes of the future potential mother-in-law, her possible reaction which would be like thunderstorm and lightning, if he was suddenly late for the appointed hour to bring the girl home. The hypothetical mother-in-law took another step on the next date, when the boy came for the girl to her home. She forced the guy to write an acknowledgement that he agrees to return her daughter by the time and not a minute later. The guy again lost the chance of choice, because he wrote and got a chance to date a girl, even under the hood of his mother-in-law. Their relationship soon ended when the guy casually told his mother that he had to write receipts for dates, and his mother was able to explain to him what lies ahead if the hypothetical mother-in-law becomes just a mother-in-law. It is funny and amusing, but when such ridiculous situations occur in real life, immediately there will be a clear assessment in the head – where and how quickly to run in similar or close cases.

One of the options for such communication with a child you will see a little later in communication with a first-grader. From an early age children should be taught how to pay attention to the people around them. Children should know how to choose a friend. It would be a good school of life. They will figure out why this or that girl or boy is behaving like this. And this makes sense only when children care about their toys, when they speak to us openly.

How can you teach a first-grade girl to understand which boy is next to her? Just ask her why she chose him over the others. Her answers will show exactly the reasons, and if she doesn't know why, then you need to ask the simplest leading questions and teach her to identify the reasons that attracted her to him, to friendship with him. Then you need to pitch upon each argument and reason. The next stage is the friend’s actions: whether he cares about one particular girl, whether he shows affection. Is he at least constant in his choice? Or he is a good friend of all girls in the group? Does not he offend girls or even beat? Is he interested in something? How does he speak to his parents? Is he obedient? Is he rude? Is he ready to give the last candy you?

Then you should teach your children how to juxtapose actions and words, so that the child could see the roots of selfishness, stupidity, greed, pride, and other points of weakness. On this thread of juxtaposition, bright and attractive beads will be made of kindness, responsiveness, dedication and other attractive aspects of human manifestation. Having formed in the child’s mind the habit of thinking and contemplating, looking into the roots of actions, reaching for those who will not betray, who are ready to live for the sake of another, the transition phase into adulthood will not be so "terrible".

I am convinced that most if not all of my readers are ready to challenge these statements, replace them with their own, expand the list or argue with the accuracy of the wording. For example, is it possible to calculate these risks? Is it possible to fully understand the person who is in front of you in the rose and candy stage? Who by the age of 18 is ready to listen to this and openly talk about it? People of age can say: "Remember yourself, did you listen to someone in your 18–20 years? And anyway, you don't need to teach me, I will figure it out myself!"

Here is one of these answers:

"This begs the question: why did you decide that you are smarter than anyone and that you can teach someone? Everyone has their own life and their own mistakes, and perhaps only after going through them, a person will understand the most important thing and what he needs."

Firstly, I will answer the last question – about 18–20 years. I didn't listen to anyone in my 18-s, because there was no one around who could tell me some useful information. There was nobody whom I could listen to, to whom I could openly talk about my ideas, how and whom to choose, which of the girls is more interesting to me and why I like her… We will get answers to the other questions in the future chapters through examples and descriptions. But the best way is when the reader will notice the logic himself or herself and will be able to foresee possible scenarios for development.